Mark 2:13-28 and 3

Jesus,
Hi.
I'm excited to have woken up to a beautiful day, bright and early, with things to do.  But I'm struggling. My dreams are strange but familiar, sad yet beautiful, and I wake up only to find myself lying in my bed, tossing and turning and jaw clenched shut. I am awake and aware throughout the day, but feel the occasional twinge of sadness. And it's all that I can take. So please, if you would be with me, walk with me through my sad moments, and rejoice with me in my happy ones, I would love that so much.

Anyway.
Continuing in your word, I learned more about your life. I value so much the company that you kept, your compassion for the broken. Your love for the outcasts. And your wisdom in response to the criticism of others.

15 Later, Levi invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. (There were many people of this kind among Jesus' followers.) 16 But when the teachers of religious law who were Pharisees saw him eating with tax collectors and other sinners, they asked his disciples, "Why does he eat with such scum?"
17 When Jesus heard this, he told them, "Healthy people don't need a doctor-sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."  -Mark 2:15-17 NLT


Chapter 3 was a little hard for me to follow, and I hope that as I continue to read through scripture that I will come to understand more in the future. But I also saw your sadness and anger towards the Pharisees, as they criticized your compassion and desire to heal the sick and wounded.

5 He looked around at them angrily and was deeply saddened by their hard hearts...  -Mark 3:5 NLT


I pray for humility. I pray for you to break down any self-righteous spirit I may have. Break down my pride and my arrogance.
It's so interesting, sometimes I feel like the more I recognize my brokenness, the more self-righteous I become in the way I perceive others. It's as if my recognition of my own sin and struggle entitles me to criticize those who don't recognize their own sin and struggle. And that is not right at all. That's not okay.
Lord, I pray that I can have compassion on those who are still finding their way. Compassion on those who do not see their own flaws and potential for personal growth. That I would not turn my nose up at them, but that I would have it in my heart to feel compassion towards them, and love, and hope. That I would continually seek you out in prayer for those who need you. We all need you. And our journeys are all so different. I pray that I would humble myself and be put in a place of being seen alongside of my brothers and sisters. (Yea, I used the Christianese term "brothers and sisters". You can laugh about it with me later :D) But that I would stay side by side with all of my friends and family regardless of their awareness in their journey and regardless of whether they feel they need you or not. We are all broken. And in this I am no better than any other person on this planet. Break me down and allow me to have a heart of understanding.

I am a sinner. I am broken. And in this you have come to call on me. Show me your purpose. And enlighten my spirit.
I love you.

Amen.